Today one of my grandsons greeted me over the internet with a Grinch face. I wasn’t fooled though, as behind the grumpy, ill tempered mask I could hear his familiar happy chuckle. I wonder that this time of year, can bring out The Grinch in all of us sometimes, despite all the good will. Unpleasant incidents or bad behaviour can capture our attention and as a result we become absorbed in the tendency to be negative or our world view becomes coloured by the cruel things that stand out. There can be a sharp contrast between the peace that the birth of Christ heralds and the conflict we see every night on our TV screens.
As Christmas and the New Year fast approach my thoughts have turned to kindness. What is it and, how can I intentionally build more of it into my life in 2024?
Do we value kindness enough? Do we take it seriously? Claudia Hammond says in her book The Keys to Kindness “We are kinder than we might think, but we could be kinder still - with enormous benefits for our personal mental health and well-being, as well as for society, the economy and the environment. …Kindness helps not just others, but us too.” She goes on to challenge “the idea … that to be kind is to be weak, and that weakness means you lose out.’ Claudia concludes her book with a chapter entitled “A prescription for kindness.”
In the past two days I decided to put one of her prescriptions to the test and was pleasantly surprised at the results:
Prescription for kindness No1: Become a kindness twitcher
In the same way that a bird watcher makes note of each occasion when they see a certain species we could be on the lookout for kindness, both in the actions of others and of ourselves. So instead of mentally making note of the unpleasant incidents or bad behaviour that captures our attention we should try to make an effort to recall all the small friendly acts or helpfulness directed towards us.
These were my result in the past two days.
1. Arriving at my family’s home unexpectedly, my grandchildren greeted me as if I’d been away for a year, yet it had only been a few days.
2. My three and a half year old grandson said to my son Josh “Dad, make Mimi a really nice drink.” and, then motioned for me to sit down to wait for it to be made.
3. My sister arrived early with a very creative Christmas present for my garden.
4. Today at the new café in town, though I’d only been there twice before, the café owner smiled and gave me a hug in response to my friendly smile of recognition.
5. Mark Bonnefin called out of the blue to ask if I needed anything taken to Tiona for Reunion and then drove over to pick up half of the Tiona Centenary books.
6. Then Ken Archer phoned and came by today to pick up more of my art supplies and the rest of the Tiona Centenary Books.
7. At the fruit market, a man gave me his trolley, smiling as he did. The assistant at the market went out of his way to find me a recipe for a mango salad and a shop assistant and customer, though they would be held up, encouraged me to go and collect the cabbage that I had forgotten to pick up on my way through the aisles.
8. My neighbour came across the road to let me know the date of the Christmas week pick up of garbage, saying “Just leave it out if you are away.”
9. Mum shared a yummy slice she had made for afternoon tea.
10. My Shakuhachi flute teacher encouraged my playing today with words of helpful instruction and praise.
11. Friends and family have shared Christmas greetings with me and have taken time to connect.
12. And just now we ran outside my home to hear a magnificent pipe and drum band walking our neighbourhood playing Christmas carols to all the people in the near by restaurants as they collected money for the Salvation Army.
This added awareness has been a real eye-opener; so much kindness has been flowing my way just in the past two days that I’m determined to see how I can keep kindness flowing back into circulation. Now what about you? Do you want to try to be a kindness twitcher too?
Merry Christmas,
Anne Bonnefin
Communications Co ordinator
Community of Christ Australia