One of the challenges given to us as Christians is to give compassionate ministry and blessings to those people we discern have a need in their lives. And of course, to provide this ministry to those in need is noble and right. And usually to everyone involved in such situations, this loving service of blessing eventually turns out to be advantageous to all.
But on the other side of this commandment about loving our neighbour that I have quoted below raises the question, have you thought about loving and blessing yourself?
You recall the incident during Jesus’ ministry when a lawyer, who was a Pharisee, tried to test Jesus by asking him: “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” —Matthew 22:36–40 NRSV, adapted.
In this confrontation with the Pharisee, Jesus said to love ourselves!
In a past Daily Bread reading, I remember this testimony from an author whose name I cannot recall.
“Recently I shared with a friend my latest landscaping project and how much pleasure I get from working with stones. I said, ‘I don’t mean to brag, but I have a good sense of selecting what stones I should place next to each other’.
“My friend said to me, ‘You should brag about what gives you pleasure and satisfaction.’ During this conversation, my friend helped me realize that knowing what gives me joy and sharing that with others is “speaking well” of myself and is a blessing I need to give myself. I do not believe this is being self-centred.”
The above scripture from Matthew brings a “truth” to mind that is rarely emphasised, that of ‘loving yourself’. It's no secret that we tend to look for flaws within ourselves and that we're our own worst critics. We always find something that we don't like and even catch ourselves saying, “I’m not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough.”
Remembering that each of us is a beloved child of God should cause each of us, as disciples, to give affirmations, encouragement, and nurturing to ourselves as people of worth. Sure, speak well of others! Affirm people! But remember to do the same for yourself!
Remember that we have already been greatly blessed by our Heavenly Father in so many ways. Believe that this is true! John O’Donohue in his book Kindness: the First Gift says this about believing in blessing: “To believe in blessing is to believe that our being here, our presence in the world, is itself the first gift, the primal blessing. To be born is to be chosen. To be created and come to birth is to be blessed.”
Some things may be equally essential but nothing is more important than a healthy sense of self-esteem and loving yourself.
Dr Barbara De Angelis, a relationship consultant, lecturer, author and spiritual teacher has written: “If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself.”
De Angelis’ statement fits in so well with what Jesus has said throughout his ministry.
Remember to bless you! Blessed to be a blessing includes blessing yourself. Blessing one’s self is an equal priority to blessing others.
Bill Gillard